Livet enligt Cordy: Part III

Del 1.

Del 2.

Trots att Cordelia verkar leva i en egen liten bubbla (Cordy world som någon av karaktärerna ironiskt kallar hennes verklighetssyn) så ger hon ändå intressanta synpunkter när det kommer till diskussioner på lektionerna. Detta är om "The Merchant of Venice".

CORDELIA: Yeah. With Shylock it's whine, whine, whine, like the whole world is about him. He acts like it's justice, him getting a pound of Antonio's flesh. It's not justice, it's yicky.
Ms. Miller: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?
WILLOW: Well, everyone looked down on him.
CORDELIA: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.

Dagens lektion: Om du kör på en cyklist så är det du som är offret.

(citat taget från "Out of Mind, Out of Sight", S01E11, BtVS)

Livet enligt Cordy: Part II

Andra delen i en "följetong" om Buffyverse Cordelia Chase.
Del 1.

"I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? It really gets to you, a thing like that. It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats!"

Dagens lektion: Att hitta en död, halshuggen lärare i kylskåpet är en mycket bättre diet än både Atkins och GI-metoden.

(citat från "Teacher's Pet", S01E04, BtVS)

Livet enligt Cordy: Part I

Man kan lära sig mycket om livet och världen genom att lyssna på Cordelia Chases (Charisma Carpenter, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" och "Angel") monologer.



"My mom doesn't even get out of bed anymore. And the doctor says it's Epstein-Barr. I'm like, pleeease! It's chronic hepatitis, or at least chronic fatigue syndrome. I mean, nobody cool has Epstein- Barr anymore."

Dagens lektion: Om du blir diagnosticerad med Epstein-Barr, protestera! Kroniskt trötthetssyndrom är mycket coolare!


(citat från "Welcome to the Hellmouth", S01E01, Btvs)

Favoritcitat: Angel S05E18 - S05E22

Illyria: I'd like to keep Spike as my pet.

Connor: You gotta do what you can to protect your family. I learned that from my father.

Connor: [about Illyria] So, does she have any special powers or anything?
Spike: Glad you asked. So far I've established that she can hit like a Mack truck, selectively alter the flow of time and, uh,
[looks through clipboard]
Spike: ... possibly talk to plants.

Illyria: Your body warms. This one is lusting after me.
Connor: Oh, no. I - It's - It's just, uh - it's the outfit. I-I guess I've always had a thing for older women.
Angel: They were supposed to fix that.

Sahjhan: Thank you, mortal, for releasing me from my cursed prison. In gratitude, I grant you three wishes.
Connor: Really?
Sahjhan: Nah, I'm just messin' with you.
(från "Origin", S05E18)

Gunn: Have you talked to Wes?
Lorne: Well, we've exchanged words. I wouldn't exactly call it talking. He's still reeling since Our Lady of the Blue Bummer arrived.
Gunn: Yeah, I was just in his office, and he...
Lorne: Oh, God! Don't go in there! That's where he keeps his full-strength crazy.

[To Illyria]
Spike: It's not murder if you say yes.
(från "Time Bomb", S05E19)

Spike: The Immortal?
Angel: I mean, come on!
Spike: [about Buffy] She's smarter than that.
Angel: She'd never fall for a centuries-old guy with a dark past who may or may not be evil.

[About Buffy and her new boyfriend]
Angel: But she's not finished baking yet! I gotta wait 'til she's done baking. You know, 'til she finds herself. 'Cause that's the drill. Fine. I'm waitin' patiently, and meanwhile,
[shouting]
Angel: The Immortal's eatin' cookie dough!
Andrew: Uh, Spike, is Angel crying?
Spike: No.
[pause]
Spike: Not yet.

[To Angel]
Spike: I just wanna see you happy. Well, not too happy, 'cause then I'd have ta stake ya. Second thought, have at it.

[About their relationships with Buffy]
Angel: Ours is a forever love.
Spike: I had a relationship with her, too.
Angel: Okay, sleeping together is not a relationship.
Spike: It is if you do it enough times.

[Illyria looks like Fred]
Wesley: Stop it! Change back. Be blue. Be anything. Don't be her. Don't ever be her.

Illyria: [about the plants] I can no longer hear the song of the green.
Lorne: [to Wesley] You think that includes me?
(från "The Girl in Question", S05E20)

Lindsey: It's a secret society.
Gunn: Never heard of 'em.
Lindsey: That's cause they're secret.

Angel: We do this, the senior partners will rain their full wrath. They'll make an example of us. I'm talkin' full-on hell, not the basic fire-and-brimstone kind that we're used to.
Gunn: We know the drill.
Angel: No, you don't. Ten to one, we're gone when the smoke clears. They will do everything in their power to destroy us. So... I need you to be sure. Power endures. We can't bring down the senior partners, but for one bright shiny moment we can show them that they don't own us. You need to decide for yourselves if that's worth dying for. I can't order you to do this. Can't do it without you. So we'll vote... as a team. Think about what I'm asking you to do. Think about what I'm asking you to give.

Spike: I'm in.
(från "Power Play", S05E21)

[about the suicidial plan to defy the senior partners]
Angel: Then we're all agreed.
Spike: Yeah. We're all one big happy Manson family.

Spike: Right. First off, I'm not wearing any amulets. No bracelets, brooches, beads, pendants, pins or rings.

Hamilton: Let me say this as clearly as I can. You cannot beat me. I am a part of them. The Wolf, Ram, and Hart. Their strength flows through my veins. My blood is filled with their ancient power.
Angel: Can you pick out the one word there you probably shouldn't have said?

Angel: This may come out a little pretentious, but... one of you will betray me.
[Spike raises his hand]
Angel: Wes.
Spike: [disappointed] Oh. Can I deny you three times?

Lindsey: If you want me, I'm on your team.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey. [pause] Thinkin' about rephrasing that.
Lindsey: Yeah, I think I'd be more comfortable if you did.

Spike: [performing in a pub at a poetry slam] My soul is wrapped in harsh repose / Midnight descends in raven-colored clothes / But soft. Behold! A sunlight beam / Cutting a swath of glimmering gleam / My heart expands, 'tis grown a bulge in it / Inspired by your beauty... effulgent.
Audience: [standing ovation] Yeah! That was great, man!
Spike: Thank you. That was for Cecily.

Illyria: [Wesley has been fatally stabbed] You'll be dead within moments.
Wesley: I know.
Illyria: Would you like me to lie to you now?
Wesley: Yes. Thank you, yes.
[Illyria morphs into Fred]
Wesley: Hello there.
Illyria: [as Fred] Oh Wesley. My Wesley.
Wesley: Fred, I've missed you.
Illyria: [as Fred] It's gonna be okay. It won't hurt much longer and then you'll be where I am.
[Begins crying]
Illyria: [as Fred] We'll be together.
Wesley: I-I love you.
Illyria: [as Fred] I love you. My love. Oh, my love.

Gunn: Any word on Wes?
Illyria: Wesley's dead. I'm feeling grief for him. I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.
Spike: Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.
Angel: [Looking at the approaching mob of demons] Among other things.

Spike: And in terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
Spike: Bit more specific?
Angel: Well, personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon.
(från "Not Fade Away", S05E22)

Favoritcitat: Angel S05E12 - S05E17

Cordelia: Spike's a hero and you're CEO of Hell, Incorporated. What frickin' bizzaro world did I wake up in?

[Spike has bitten Cordelia]
Cordelia: I thought he had a soul!
Spike: I thought she didn't!
Cordelia: I do!
Spike: So do I!
Cordelia: Well, clearly, mine's better.

[to Eve]
Cordelia: Let's go, Lilah Junior.

Angel: But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
Eve: Doesn't ring a bell.
Cordelia: It does to me. It rings a big, frickin' gong.

Angel: Fail-safe's meant for me. I'm not gonna risk anybody I care about.
Spike: I'll go.
Angel: Okay.
(från "You're Welcome", S05E12)

Angel: You're a Nazi?
Spike: What? Oh. No, I just ate one.

Lawson: Aren't ya gonna ask me how I got in here?
Angel: No. You'd be amazed at how many people break into this building on a regular basis.
(från "Why We Fight", S05E13)

Puppet Angel: Yes, I'm a puppet. Doesn't mean you don't have work to do!

Fred: [after Angel's been turned into a puppet] Oh, my God! Angel you're... cute.
Puppet Angel: Fred, don't.
Fred: Oh, but the little hands! And the hair.
Puppet Angel: Hey! You're fired.

Lorne: Maybe you have some type of puppet cancer.
Puppet Angel: I do not have puppet cancer!

Puppet Angel: What are you people lookin' at? Well?
Spike: They're lookin' at the wee little puppet man.

Lorne: [holding the torn body of the Angel puppet] Is there a Gepetto in the house?

Puppet Angel: I was turned into a puppet last night.
Nina: I... uh... wow. Are you - are you okay?
Puppet Angel: I'm made of felt. [takes off nose] And my nose comes off.

[to puppet Angel]
Puppet Polo: I'm gonna tear you a new puppet hole, bitch!

Puppet Polo: So, you got a little demon in you?
Puppet Angel: I got a lot of demon in me.
(från "Smile Time", S05E14)

[Angel has been run through with a large sword by Spike; there's a creepy demon bug on his back, dangling from where the sword exits his body]
Spike: Fuss, fuss. The thing was about to strike. It was on your back. What was I supposed to do?
Angel: Ask me to turn around?
Spike: Heat of battle. There wasn't time.
Angel: You just like stabbing me.
Spike: I—I'm shocked— shocked that you'd say that. I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.

Angel: Look, I can't do this anymore.
Spike: Admitting defeat, are you?
Angel: You and me. This isn't working out.
Spike: Are you saying we should start annoying other people?

Fred: I walk with heroes. Think about that.
Wesley: You are one.
Fred: Superhero. And this is my power. To not let them take me.

Spike: There's a hole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known.

[Fred is dying]
Fred: Would you have loved me?
Wesley: I've loved you since I've known you. No, that's not-I think maybe even before.
Fred: I'm so sorry.
Wesley: No, no, no.
Fred: I need you to talk to my parents. Th-they have to know I wasn't scared, th-that it was quick. That I wasn't scared. Oh, God.
Wesley: You have to fight. You don't have to talk, just concentrate on fighting. Just hold on.
Fred: I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared. Please, Wesley. Why can't I stay?

Spike: No. Not this girl. Not this day.
(från "A Hole in the World", S05E15)

Gunn: I know how you feel.
Wesley: You know- You didn't feel her die.
[He begins to cry]
Wesley: She was shaking with pain and terrified and so brave. She was better than anyone I've known. Better than... She's gone.

Knox: Guys, you should scan the headlines here. You-you can't win this.
Wesley: Then we all die trying.
Illyria: Why?
Angel: You want the short version? Let's start with you walkin' around lookin' like the woman you murdered.

Gunn: What about her - If her organs have been liquefied?
Spike: [raises hand] Flash fried in a pillar of fire, savin' the world. I got better
(från "Shells", S05E16)

Illyria: I lived seven lives at once. I was power in the ecstasy of death. I was god to a god. Now... I'm trapped on a roof... just one roof, in this time and this place with an unstable human who drinks too much whiskey and called me a Smurf.
(från "Underneath", S05E17)

Favoritcitat: Angel S05E06 - S05E11

Spike: Hey Fred, did ya hear? Angel attacked the old mail guy!
Angel: What?
Fred: Not number five! You didn't hurt him?
Angel: No! I - He attacked me!

Gunn: Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along.
Spike: Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playin' Agatha Christie.
Wesley: Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Spike: Called shotgun, mate.

Wesley: Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile...
[Angel interrupts by pulling a screeching U-Turn]
Spike: Always was a bit of a drama queen.
(från "The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco", S05E06)

Wesley: Are you saying the Council wants me to come back?
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Not necessarily. Your name's proven to be a point of contention. There are some who believe that your tenure as Watcher ranks as our most embarrassing failure.
Wesley: Really? I beat out everybody dying in an explosion as most embarrassing failure.

Fred: [about the cyborg] This thing really blurs the line between human and robot.
Spike: Aha. So you're not ruling out that a human being could have boffed a robot.
[everyone stares at him]
Spike: Sex with robots is more common than most people think.

Spike: You've heard of me?
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: No. We've met. 1963, my colleagues and I fell upon you slaughtering an orphanage in Vienna. Killed two of my men before you escaped.
Spike: [awkward silence] Oh. How've you been?

[to Wesley]
Angel: You know, I killed my actual father. It was one of the first things I did when I became a vampire.

[Trying to comfort Wesley]
Spike: Don't know if you know this, but, uh, I killed my mum. Actually, I'd already killed her, and then she tried to shag me, so I had to, uh...

[To Fred]
Wesley: If you're here to tell me about how you killed your parents, perhaps it could wait for another time?
(från "Lineage", S05E07)

Spike: Look at you. Fighting for truth, justice, and soccer moms. But you still can't lay flesh on a cross without smelling like bacon.
Angel: Like you're any different.
Spike: That's just it. I am. You had a soul forced on you as a curse, make you suffer for all the horrible things you've done. But me, I fought for my soul, went throught the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over but I kept fighting. 'Cause I knew it was the right thing to do. It was my destiny
Angel: Really? I thought it was just to get inside a girl's pants.

[to Angel]
Spike: Drusilla sired me. But, you … you made me a monster.

Spike: You never knew the real me. Too busy tryin' to see your own reflection, praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you.
(från "Destiny", S05E08)

Angel: If you don't kill, we won't kill you. (Wolfram & Harts nya motto)
(från "Harm's Way", S05E09)

Woman: Thank you! Thank you! That thing was gonna kill me!
Spike: Well, what do you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood: I got half a mind to kill you myself, you half wit.
Woman: What?
Spike: I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley? Take two steps, break your bloody ankle.
Woman: I was just trying to get home!
Spike: Well, get a cab, you moron! And on the way, if a stranger offers you candy, don't get in the van!
(från "Soul Purpose", S05E10)

[Angel and Spike enter the office where Andrew and the gang are.]
Andrew: Spike?
Spike: Oh, for the love of...
Andrew: Spike? It's you. It's really you! [hugs Spike, sobbing] My therapist thought I was holding onto false hope, but - I knew you'd come back. You're like… you're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever. He's alive, Frodo. He's alive!
Angel: You two know each other?
Andrew: Uh, yeah. Um… We—we saved the world together. I mean, Buffy helped, but it was mostly us.

[After being thrown out a window]
Angel: What happened?
Spike: Oh, I just thought I'd see what it was like to bounce off the pavement. Pretty much what I expected.

Angel: [to Spike] Shouldn't you be out in the streets, you know, protecting the city from... people like you?

Fred: In every generation, one is chosen.
Andrew: Yes, attractive slender woman.

Andrew: Giles and a few key Sunnydale alum have been tracking down the recently chosen. Uh, guiding them, training them, giving them the full X-Men minus the crappy third act.

Andrew: [to Angel] Check the view screen, Uhuru. I got twelve Vampyr Slayers behind me, and not one of them has ever dated you.
(från "Damage", S05E11)

Favoritcitat: Angel S05E01 - S05E05

Wesley: Don't you think it's a bit unseemly adding Y's to the ends of people's names?
Gunn: Does that mean I have to call you 'Wesle'?


[Angel dials the phone incorrectly in his new office]
Automated voice: You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats, press "1" or say "goats".

[A man tries to kill Angel by strangling him]
Angel: Guess what I'm doing now? Not using my windpipe.
(från "Conviction", S05E01)

[Spike materializes in Angel's office at Wolfram & Hart]
Spike: What? What?
Harmony: What the hell are you doing here, Spike?
Wesley: Harmony, please.
Gunn: This is Spike? The Spike?

Spike: I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I've got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be lead around by...
Fred: Excuse me?
Wes: Did - Did you just say - Spike has a soul? You never said.
Angel: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
Gunn: Seems to be a lot of that.
Spike: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club. Another vampire with a soul in the world.
Angel: You're not in the world, Casper.

Angel: [concerning Spike's soul] Fair? You asked for a soul. I didn't. It almost killed me. I spend a hundred years tryin' to come to terms with infinite remorse. You spent three weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine. What's fair about that?

Harmony: [to Spike] Oh, my God! You and the Slayer actually - I mean, I know you had that twisted obsession with her, but - Ugh! That's just - Ugh!

Fred: And, I'm detecting brain wave activity.
Angel: On Spike? Huh. That is weird.

Lorne: Honey of a story.
Wesley: Story?
Lorne: Yeah. The Vampire Slayer both men loved, both men lost. Oh, I could sell that to any studio in a heartbeat.


Harmony: Just since you're all soulful now, I thought maybe, just maybe, you might've learned to open up a little. You know, talk? But I guess a leopard can't change his stripes.
Spike: Spots, you dink. Leopards have spots.
Harmony: Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Brainy. Thank you so much for sharing. Wow. What a breakthrough.
(från "Just Rewards", S05E02)

Nina: How would you--you're not a monster, too, are you?
Fred: Nope. Standard-issue science nerd. I did spend 5 years in a demon dimension...till Angel saved me.
Nina: Guess he saves a lot of girls, huh?
Fred: Girls, guys...puppies. He's pretty much an equal-opportunity saver.

Fred: [about Nina's abduction] The scariest thing was how organized they were. Almost military.
Wesley: An underground monster-hunting military organization. It's happened before.
(från "Unleashed", S05E03)

Spike: So that's it, then. I really am going to burn.
Angel: Welcome to the club.
Spike: Well, least I got company, eh? You and me, together again. Hope and Crosby. Stills and Nash. Chico and the ...
Angel: Yeah, are we done?
Spike: Never much for small talk, were you? Always too busy trying to perfect that brooding block of wood mystique. God, I love that.
Angel: Not as much as I loved your nonstop yammering.
Spike: The way you always had to be the big swingy, swaggerin' around, barkin' orders.
Angel: Never listening.
Spike: Always interrupting.
Angel: And your hair. What color do they call that? Radioactive?
Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam, even when we were evil.
Angel: Cared for you less.
Spike: Fine.
Angel: Good.
[long pause]
Angel: There was one thing about you.
Spike: Really?
Angel: Yeah, I never told anybody about this, but I-I liked your poems.
Spike: You like Barry Manilow.
(från "Hell-Bound", S05E04)

Spike: You pissed in the Big Man's chair? That's fantastic.
Gunn: Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
Spike: What, the Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous.

Angel: Lorne told you to pee all over the office?
Gunn: Lord, I hope so.

Fred: [slurring, as a demon bumps into her.] Hey, you want a piece of me, buddy? That's right, keep walking. You walk alone! You walk alone!

Harmony: Oh, my God. They shot Lorney-Tunes.
(från "Life of the Party", S05E05)

Favoritcitat: Angel S04E17 - S04E22

Gunn: [to Angel] Well, congratulations. You're gonna have a grandspawn.
(från "Players", S04E17)

Gunn: You sayin' Pop and Mama threw you a beatin'?
Lorne: Kid Vicious did the heavy lifting. Cordy just "mwha-ha-ha-ed" at us.

Gunn: Guy steps out for a few hours, half the place goes super-villain.
(från "Inside Out", S04E18)

Angel: I mean, stranger things have happened.
Fred: Like Cordelia giving birth to a beautiful ebony goddess?
Angel: Not the example I was looking for, but yeah.

Lorne: Tonight the role of Judas Iscariot will be played by Krevlorneswath of the Deathwok Clan.

Connor: I'll kill you.
Angel: It'll pass.
Lorne: Yeah, 'cause Lord knows he's never tried that before.
(från "The Magic Bullet", S04E19)

[To Angel]
Lilah: What's the matter, Ace? Didn't think you're the only one that ever got to come back from Hell around here, did ya?

Gunn: Couldn't have been easy for you seeing Lilah again like that.
Wesley: Oh, yes. That was awkward, wasn't it? When you decapitate a loved one, you don't expect them to come visiting.

[Lilah, reanimated due to a clause in her contract, looks on as Wesley rifles through Wolfram & Hart files.]
Lilah: What are you doing, Wesley?
Wesley: [takes a piece of paper out of the files] Standard in Perpetuity clause.
Lilah: You broke in here for my contract?
Wesley: I'm here to release you from it.
Lilah: Wesley…
Wesley: You've suffered enough! [he lights the paper on fire] I want you to find some peace.
Lilah: Gallant to the end... but I knew what I signed up for.
Wesley: It's done.
Lilah: Look in the drawer. [Wesley finds the same piece of paper in the file cabinet again, unscorched] Flames wouldn't be eternal if they actually consumed anything. But it means something that you tried.

Gunn: You wanna give us your evil law firm? We ain't lawyers.
Fred: Or evil. Currently.
(från "Home", S04E22)

Favoritcitat: Angel S04E10 - S04E16

Angel: That means, if anything should go wrong with Angelus, you're gonna have to kill me.
Connor: Okay.
Angel: If anything goes wrong.

Angel: It's a dead end.
Cordelia: Who booby-traps a dead end? That's just ...not right.

[Angel glances at the others, clearly a different person]
Cordelia: Angelus.
Angelus: [chuckles]
(från "Awakening", S04E10)

Wesley: I've imagined this moment many times. I've read everything ever written about you.
Angelus: Stop, I'm blushing.

Cordelia: We found a little boy, his sister, mom, dad, grandma. All dead.
Angelus: Oh, God! I'm always missing the fun stuff.

Angelus: [to Connor] And now my boy's in love, all hearts and flowers. But, doesn't it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned is the closest thing you've ever had to a mother. Doin' your mom and tryin' to kill your dad. Hmm, there should be a play.

Connor: Angel's my dad.
Angelus: I'm going to cry.

Angelus: [mocking Cordelia] Oh, God. Oh, Angel. Angel, we can't. I love you, but you were so bad. You ate babies. Chicks.
(från "Soulless", S04E11)

[To Team Angel]
Angelus: How did you survive this long, being so retarded?

Gunn: Now, instead of just worryin' about big bad rock-eater, we got Darth Vampire livin' in the basement.

[to Lilah]
Angelus: Try playing up the awe and the reverence a bit. The great Angelus.

[upon seeing Lilah in the hotel]
Lorne: What in the hell is Succubitch doin' here?
(från "Cavalry", S04E12)

Wesley: Feel natural?
Faith: Eh, it's like ridin' a biker

[after overhearing a Slayer is in town]
Angelus: [on the phone, pretending to be Angel] Hi, Dawn.
[pause]
Angelus: Yeah, it's me. Is your sister home? She is?

Wesley: How do you expect to find Angelus without Connor?
Faith: The old-fashioned way. Kid's not the only tracker. Something'll turn up. Trail of bodies. A telltale clue.
[sees a big sign that says "Welcome Faith"]
Faith: Maybe a carpet fiber.

[after killing the Beast]
Angelus: Aw, crap! You mean killing the Beast really does bring back the sun? I thought that was Angel's retarded fantasy.
(från "Salvage", S04E13)

[Evil Cordy sends mind messages to Angelus]
Angelus: But the thing is, as far as plans go, I make my own. So, you know, thanks for stoppin' by my head.

Cordelia: Destruction, sometimes is its own reward.
Angelus: Hey, man, you're preachin' to the guy who ate the choir.

Cordelia: You would dare to defy me?
Angelus: Defy who? A big, scary voice? Whoa! Hey, I got one of those, too. You wanna hear it? You can kiss my vampire ass. That do anything for ya?

Cordelia: [shouting] Angelus!
Angelus: Oh, volume!
Cordelia: I am not well pleased.
Angelus: And I'm not well deaf.

Cordelia: This isn't the way, my sweet. We should be friends, you and I.
Angelus: No, and I'll tell you why. One, because, you know, I'm evil. So the friends thing, that's out. And two, if I did have friends they sure as hell wouldn't be livin' inside my head.

Angelus: Hello? Hey, I got places to go, friends to kill. Well, not actually my friends, but you get the idea.

Faith: [To Wesley] We track him, we find him, we...
Angelus: Get your asses kicked? I don't know, wild guess.

Angelus: Rah rah! Good over evil! Do what must be done! Hang in there, kitten, it's almost Friday!
(från "Release", S04E14)

[Faith and Angelus are watching Angel's past]
Angelus: Oh, no. I remember this. I-I remember this place. I gotta get outta here.
Faith: Why? You freakin' out?
Angelus: It's coming, again.
Faith: What's coming?
Angelus: I can't do it again. I won't.
[Angel runs in front of a speeding car]
Faith: Angel, get out of the road!
Angelus: Arrrgh! No!
Faith: [laughing] Dude! You just rescued a puppy.

Faith: We're reliving Angel's good deeds. You are in hell. Wicked.

Faith: 'Cause I'm dying, dumbass.
Angelus: Not soon enough.
Faith: Way I figure, I got one last job. Baby-sit the psycho 'til they shove a soul up your...
Angelus: Not gonna happen.

Angel: I'm not perfect, Faith. Even with a soul I've done things I've wised a thousand times I could take back.
Angelus: Yeah, like those Manilow concerts. You son of a bitch.

Angelus: So why do I have to go through it again?
Angel: [rises up] Maybe 'cause it's not about you, Jackass!

Angelus: [Faith and Angel are talking] Anybody notice a battle with your alter ego going on here?

Willow: How've you been?
Cordelia: Higher power. You?
Willow: Ultimate evil. But, I got better

Wesley: A lot's happened. Not just Angelus. I've been... I've changed. I've seen a darkness in myself. I'm not sure you'd even begin to understand...
Willow: I flayed a guy alive and tried to destroy the world.
Wesley: Oh. So...
Willow: Darkness. Been there.
Wesley: Yeah. Well, I never flayed. I had a woman chained in a closet.
Willow: Oh, well hey!
Wesley: No, it doesn't compare.
Willow: No, dark. That's dark. You've been to a place.
Wesley: You seem exactly the same as when I left. No other major changes I'm not up on?
Willow: Ehm, just little things.
(från "Orpheus", S04E16)

Favoritcitat: Angel S04E01 - S04E08

Gunn: [to Connor] That's right, Sparky. Daddy's comin' home. And I'm guessing there's gonna be a spanking.

[To Connor]
Angel: So, how was your summer? Mine was fun. Saw some fish, went mad with hunger, hallucinated a whole bunch.

[Connor tries to escape]
Angel: Daddy's not finished talking.

Angel: What you did to me… was unbelievable, Connor. But then, I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for a hundred years, so three months under the ocean actually gave me perspective.

Gunn: Right, we'll just stroll into their heavily guarded law offices, and ask Lilah the Evil Bitch Queen for help finding out what happened to their archenemy, but, we're kinda broke so it'll have to be pro bono.
(från "Deep Down", S04E01)

Angel: Who are you?
Gwen: Who are you?
Angel: I asked you first.
Gwen: What are you, seven?

Lilah: Look, Angel, I know you've been out of the loop for a while, but I'm still evil. I don't do errands. Unless they're evil errands.

[Talking about Cordelia’s disappearance]
Angel: How 'bout the police?
Gunn: Uh, let's see. "Abandoned car. Empty apartment."
Fred: "No sign of violence. No plans for travel."
Gunn: "Please file a missing persons report."
Fred: "And have a nice day."
Gunn: But hey, that was only the first time. The next seven times they left off the "nice day" part.
(från "Ground State", S04E02)

Gunn: No one seems to be bothered by the fact that he's a demon.
Fred: They must think it's all makeup like the Blue Man Group. You don't think the Blue Man Group...
Angel: Only two of 'em.
(från "The House Always Wins", S04E03)

Fred: You know what they say about payback? Well, I'm the bitch.

[rips the roof off Lilah's convertible]
Angel: That's cool. The top just comes right off.

[a decapitated demon gets up]
Angel: Come on! I'm holding your head.
(från "Supersymmetry", S04E05)

Lorne: [Telling Cordelia about a spell that will restore her memory] Trust me, sweetness. There no way this can go wrong.
Lorne: [narrating to the audience] So I'm an idiot. What are you, perfect?

[due to a spell, Angel can't remember anything past the age of seventeen]
Angel: I'm supposed to be evil, but they attack me without cause. They gang up on me because I'm different. They're as bad as my father.
Connor: Fathers. Don't they suck?
Angel: Say one thing then. "Be good. Fear God. Do as you're told." And the whole while I know good and well, he's had his share of sinning.
Connor: Sounds kinda like my father.
Angel: Is he a self-righteous bastard?
Connor: You'd be amazed.

Lorne: [after the show has returned from commercial break] Well, those were some exciting products, am I right? Let's all think about buying some of those.

[watching Gunn and Wesley fight]
Cordelia: Are you going to stop this?
Angel: High time the English got what's coming to them. I'm rooting for the slave.
(från "Spin the Bottle", S04E06)

Lorne: Hate to be the little demon that cried "Apocalypse Nowish," but, uh...
(från "Apocalypse, Nowish", S04E07)

Wes: There is a line, Lilah, black and white, good and evil.
Lilah: Funny thing about black and white. You mix it together and you get grey. And it doesn't matter how much white you try and put back in, you're never gonna get anything but grey.

Angel: It's a zombie.
Connor: What's a zombie?
Angel: It's an undead thing.
Connor: Like you?
Angel: No. Zombies are slow moving, dimwitted things that crave human flesh.
Connor: Like you.
Angel: No. It's different, trust me.
(från "Habeas Corpses", S04E08)

Favoritcitat: Angel S03E12 - S03E22

Angel: Lorne, I need you to use your contacts and find out what Holtz is up to. He's out there somewhere, and we can never forget that. Finding him is our number one priority.
Gunn: I thought you said...
Angel: Finding Holtz and making money are our two number one priorities.
(Cordelia walks by and clears her throat)
Angel: Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are our three number one priorities.
(från "Provider", S03E12)

Lorne: [singing to baby Connor in Brahms' Lullaby tune] Go to sleep, lullaby / You've been fed and you're sleepy / You'll be with Uncle Lorne / Who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet / And is certainly not thinking / Of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer...
(från "Waiting in the Wings", S03E13)

Angel: Check me out. I'm "Mr. Dad"!
(från "Loyalty", S03E15)

Sahjhan: [To Lilah] You back-stabbing, traitorous bitch. I have a lot of work to do. I can't be in every time/space at once, and here I find, you drinking with my sworn enemy.
Angel: Sworn enemy? Really? Have we met?
(från "Sleep Tight", S03E16)

The Groosalugg: Hail to you potential client!
(från "Double or Nothing", S03E18)

[The AI team is rebuilding Angel's apartment after an earthquake.]
The Groosalugg: [gravely] Angel... You and I have fought side by side on more than one occasion. Fellow warriors, shoulder to shoulder. By now, my counsel must assuredly hold weight, so I beseech you to heed my words.
Angel: Mmm… oo-kay…
Groo: Pomegranate Mist is the wrong color for this room. Summer Splendor is a hue more worthy of a champion. Or, perhaps this unique one called "purpla".
Angel: Purple. Yet you have no problems pronouncing pomegranate.
Groo: It was my mother's name.
Angel: (sarcastically) What are the odds?
(från "The Price", S03E19)

Gunn: Couple weeks ago, he was wearin' diapers. Now he's a teenager?
Cordelia: Tell me we don't live in a soap opera.
(från "A New World", S03E20)

[About Connor]
Fred: Okay, so he survived an unspeakable hell dimension. Who hasn't?

Connor: I'm not going anywhere with you, demon.
Lorne: I'll tell you what, since you were raised in a hell dimension by a psychopath, and since that happens to be a topic that I know a little something about, we'll just let that slide. Now I'll fetch your pop for you.
Connor: Filthy demon.
Lorne: Actually, that's UNCLE filthy demon to you. It wasn't that long ago - like a week - I was changing your diapers, you little...
(från "Benediction", S03E21)

Angel: He's gonna need clothes, weekly allowance. What's good nowadays? Fifty cents? A dollar?
Cordelia: Yeah, if you're Tom Sawyer paintin' a fence.

Angel: I found Holtz.
Cordelia: And?
Angel: I didn't kill him.
Cordelia: Maybe you're growing as a person.

Lilah: Mind if I join you?
Wesley: On many levels and with great intensity.
(från "Tomorrow", S03E22)

Favoritcitat: Angel S03E06 - S03E11

Angel: You'll be able to keep an attacker busy until... You know.
Cordelia: What? Until he dies of old age or until you swoop in to save me?

Cordelia: Men-folk not always around to protect the women-folk, you know?

Cordelia: [to Lilah] Angel feels responsible for this guy because he brought him back from hell. I feel responsible because he did it to save me. You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.

Billy: I don't hate women. I mean, sure you're all whores who sell yourselves for money or prestige, but men are just as bad. Maybe even worse. They're willing to throw away careers or families or even lives for what's under your skirt.
Cordelia: I'm wearing pants.
Billy: So you can dress like a man? Talk like a man? Does that make you feel superior?
Cordelia: Actually, I'm feeling superior because I have an arrow pointed at your jugular. And the irony of using a phallic-shaped weapon... not lost on me.
(från "Billy", S03E06)

Angel: Darla.
Wesley: Darla?
Cordelia: Darla?
Fred: Who's Darla?
Gunn: Angel's old flame from way back.
Fred: Not the one who died?
Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Fred: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?
Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.

Lorne: This is way beyond my Ken... and my Barbie, and all my action figures.

Fred: Can I say somethin' about destiny? Screw destiny! If this evil thing comes, we'll fight it and we'll keep fightin' it until we whup it. 'Cause destiny is just another word for inevitable, and nothing's inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say, "You're evitable!"

[Angel tries unsuccessfully to tell Cordelia that he has feelings for her]
Cordelia: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Angel: What?
Cordelia: I love you, too.
Angel: You do? When did this...?
Cordelia: [to Wes, Gunn, and Fred] Angel loves me, I love him!
Angel: Oh, my God.
Cordelia: You guys love us and we love you.
Gunn, Wesley, Fred: We love you, Angel!
(från "Offspring", S03E07)

Angel: Darla, you might wanna join the fight.
Darla: Sorry, darlin'. I'm gonna have to be Switzerland and sit this one out.

Wesley: Actually...
Cordelia: God! I hate it when you say that word, "actually". "Actually" means that your oversized, gi-normous brain thought of something that the rest of us failed to consider. Right?
(från "Quickening", S03E08)

Darla: No, I haven't been nourishing it. I haven't given this baby a thing. I'm dead. It's been nourishing me. These feelings that I'm having, they're not mine. They're coming from it.
Angel: You don't know that.
Darla: Of course I do. We both do. Angel, I don't have a soul. It does. And right now, that soul is inside of me, but soon, it won't be, and then...
Angel: Darla...
Darla: I won't be able to love it. I won't even be able to remember that I loved it.
[Starts to cry]
Darla: And I want to remember. I...

[Holtz is torturing Angel]
Lilah: Look, if I'd have known you were torturing him, I wouldn't have interrupted. Please, continue. I'll wait until you're finished.
(från "Lullaby", S03E09)

Wesley: [to Angel] Did you know these diapers are lined with a space-age material originally designed for N.A.S.A. astronauts? - Interesting. Though now I'm picturing grown men wearing nappies, and am rather disturbed.

Angel: [to Connor] We'll get through this, I promise. The vampire/demon/biker posse, that's the easy part. The part that scares me - are all the questions, you know: Why is the sky blue? Why do people get sick? Why is there always pigs' blood in the fridge? I don't have all the answers. Well, I do to that last one.
(från "Dad", S03E10)

Gunn: What is it with you Sunnydale folks and repression? I mean, you three are the most denying-est folks I ever met.
(från "Birthday", S03E11)

Favoritcitat: Angel S03E01 - S03E05

Cordelia: I understand people who drink too much. I understand people who put a little note on the parking meter that says it's broken when it's not. I don't understand people who worship demons.

Cordelia: [about Angel] As soon as he works through his grief a little.
Gunn: A little? Buff...
Cordelia: Don't say the "B" word!
Gunn: The "B" word was the love of his life. And he's what, two hundred and fifty? That ain't no short life.

James: Lucky me, now I can kill the woman you love.
Angel: No you can't.
James: Are you forgetting who's the invincible one here?
Angel: The woman I love... is dead
James: Who are you talking about?
Cordelia: It happened about three months ago. We try not to say her name too much.

Elisabeth: I would need a thousand to sketch the perfect plane of your face.
James: And I would need ten thousand just to name the color of your eyes.
Angelus: They're green. But take your time.

Cordelia: Ever since you came back from your grief trip, I can tell that something's not right. And-and obviously it's not. Buffy's dead, and I don't mean to diminish that. I miss her too. I just wanna say, I know that James, with all his Romeo and Juliet madness, opened up a lot of wounds for you, but you'll be okay.
Angel: I am okay.
Cordelia: Then - What's the problem?
Angel: That I'm okay. That losing Buffy didn't kill me. That I could deal with it. In all those years, no one ever mattered. Not like she did. And now she's gone... forever.
Cordelia: And you're still here.
Angel: Yeah. It just feels like I'm betraying her somehow.
(från "Heartthrob", S03E01)

Lilah: You're a remarkable man, Angel.
Angel: Yeah. And you're an evil bitch.
(från "The Vision Thing", S03E02)

Angel: What's this?
Cordelia: "Enemies Of Merl" list.
Angel: Hey! Why is my name at the top of this list?
Cordelia: Uh, "A"?
Angel: Merl and I were not enemies.
Cordelia: Oh, okay, my mistake.
Angel: I'm the one that found the body, remember?
Cordelia: Oh, and that's not suspicious. The one time you pay Merl a social visit, and he ends up dead?

Fred: [singing karaoke] Crazy. I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely. I'm crazy...
Cordelia: [to Wesley] I swear to God, she picked out the song herself.
(från "This Old Gang of Mine", S03E03)

(Hjälp: Angel har gjort en body-swap med en annan, väldigt översexuell, man som försöker lära sig att leva i sin nya skepnad)

Angel: [as Marcus] A talk with Fred?
Cordelia: Yes! Just keep it simple. One: you're not like other men. Two: there's no room in the workplace for romance.
Angel: Romance with Fred. So I'm a... [Looks down at his clothes] Obviously.

Angel: [as Marcus] Hey. How're you doing?
Wesley: Alright. Well... you?
Angel: [as Marcus] So, we gotta talk. The thing is, I've got nothing against you personally. It's just... Oh, this is gonna be harder than I-I thought. I just don't know how to spit this out.
Wesley: Angel. Whatever it is, you know I'm here for you.
[Wes goes to touch Angel's knee]
Angel: [gets out of the chair before Wesley touches him] Yeah. That may be the problem. I mean, whatever we... had... whatever we... did. I just think that we should keep that... behind us. Start from scratch. You know, two men working side by side. But, you know, none of that funny stuff.
[Wesley looks at Angel oddly]
Angel: Shake on that?
Wesley: I guess.
Angel: [as Marcus] Hey, all right. Gimme a hug.
Cordelia: Wesley, food's here.
Wesley: Okay.
Angel: [as Marcus] Wesley?
Wesley: Yes?
Angel: [as Marcus] Do you know where Fred is?
Wesley: Um up in her room I'd expect.
Angel: [as Marcus] Her room. Right.

Cordelia: What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde.
Fred: Brunette, she was a cheap brunette.
Cordelia: You're right, this isn't like him.
(från "Carpe Noctum", S03E04)

Angel: [talking about Fred] I'm gonna miss her. She was just this nice, quiet, kind of crazy. I found that soothing.

Fred: [talking obliquely about Buffy] So, now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, Fred, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say..., no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also... nuh-uh.
Fred: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, 'cause he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sorta thing, why wouldn't it work?
Cordelia: Let me break it down for you, Fred.
[imitating Buffy]
Cordelia: Oh, Angel! I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but...
Wesley: [imitating Angel] But... my gypsy curse, sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley: Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: [entering, surprising everyone] How about you both bite me?

Mr. Burkle: And to think, we were wondering when to call the police on a bunch of superheroes.
Angel: Oh, I'm not really a hero.
Gunn: More like a blood-sucking fiend.
(från "Fredless", S03E05)

Favoritcitat: Angel S02E19 - S02E22

Gunn: What do you see?
Cordelia: Moo...
Wesley: Moo? Some sort of cow monster?

Angel: I mean, walking I get, but Power Walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. Plus, one of them hit him.
Cordelia: [gasps] A power walker did that?
Wesley: Apparently she felt I disrespected the Haklar's culture by killing it.
Cordelia: This town sucks.

Lorne: [to Landok] Landok, is that you?
Angel: [to Lorne] You know him?
Lorne: Yeah. But just because I know his name, it doesn't mean you can't knock him unconcious. Please continue.
Landok: Can it really be you? Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan.
Lorne: It's clearly rabid. Do your thing, Angel.
Angel: Krevlornswath?
Cordelia: Of the Deathwok Clan?
(från “Belonging”, S02E19)

Lorne: Just remember, keep your heads down. Xenophobia, kind of a watchword where I'm from.
Gunn: I don't get it. Why they afraid of Xena? I mean, I think she's kinda fly.
Wesley: "Xenophobia". - fear of foreigners.

Gavin Park: I represent Wolfram & Hart.
Angel: I'm already bored.
(från “Over the Rainbow”, S02E20)

[Angel has a reflection and is looking at his hair in a mirror]
Angel: [pushes down hair] Okay, this is because of goin' through the portal, right?

[still looking at his hair]
Angel: I don't get it.
Wesley: Well, the Host knows this world. We need to ascertain...
Angel: No, I mean why didn't anybody tell me about this?*

Angel: [to the Pylean Children] ... And the scroll was just tipping off his fingertips. And his eyes... The fighting was fierce! Whack! I chopped off the evil lawyer-beast's hand, and he screamed and he screamed... and then I left.
Lorne: Well, you're just the regular Hans Christian Tarantino, aren't you?
(från “Through the Looking Glass”, S02E21)

Cordelia: [to Groosalugg and Angel] Stop the fight. Don't hurt him! Stop! I love him! I love him!
Angel: You love me?
Cordelia: Not you, dumb-ass! Him! I love him!
Angel: Oh.
(från “No Place Like Plrtz Glrb”, S02E22)

* Angels uppstående hår är en av de saker som Spike alltid använder som motargument när någon pratar om Angel. Buffybot "Angel's lame. His hair goes straight up and he's bloody stupid".

Favoritcitat: Angel S02E17

Mitt favoritavsnitt där Harmony kommer till L.A och söker upp Cordelia som glatt bjuder hem sin gamla vän. Under natten så vaknar Cordelia av att Harmony sitter på hennes säng och eftersom hon inte vet att Harmony är en vampyr så drar hon andra slutsatser.

Cordelia: [Harmony, now a vampire sneaks into Cordelia's room] Harmony, what are you doing in my...
Harmony: Nothing.
Cordelia: Harmony...?
Harmony: I'm sorry. I... thought I could... control myself... I thought I could resist these urges...
Cordelia: Urges...?
Harmony: You have no idea how hard it is to stay away from you. I mean, seeing you there, looking so... so luscious.
Cordelia: Oh...
[Cordelia takes a moment, then suddenly it dawns on her that Harmony is a lesbian]
Cordelia: Ohh! You're a...
Harmony: [Harmony turns back barely able to look at her] I should have told you. I was scared... Scared that if you found out... what I was... , you'd kill me.
Cordelia: Oh, no! Harmony... God, you really think I'm that narrow-minded? I don't care about that.
Harmony: [squinting] You... You don't?
Cordelia: No. Not as long as you're happy.
Harmony: [Harmony snorts, bitterly] Happy, what's that? The last time I remember being truly happy was back in school with you.
[disgusted]
Harmony: Now, here I am, taking advantage of you.
Cordelia: No. It's just... It's just that I had no idea that you... , you know... thought of me... that way.
Harmony: I don't! I swear. I just... Well, I haven't had any for a while and... Forget it.
[she gets up and moves to the door]
Harmony: This is stupid. I'll just go back to the couch. I'm sorry really.
Cordelia: Don't be. If you want to stay and talk...
Harmony: No, I'd better... You know, I'd appreciate it if you didn't, mention this to anyone.
Cordelia: It's our secret.

På morgonen så ringer Cordelia till Sunnydale för att skälla ut Willow för att ingen har hört av sig och meddelat henne att hennes bästa vän har blivit lesbisk.

Cordelia: [on the phone] How come you guys didn't tell me about Harmony? Sunnydale's that far away, you couldn't afford a little phone call?
Willow: [on the phone] Harmony? What about Harmony?
Cordelia: [on the phone] She's here, in L.A.
Willow: [on the phone] Yikes. Big yikes! What happened? Did she come after you?
Cordelia: [on the phone] Geeyeah. She practically attacked me in my bedroom last night.
Willow: [on the phone] Your bedroom? How did she...?
Cordelia: [on the phone] While I was sleeping. Good thing I woke up, too. She was ready to jump me right there. But, I think she got the message that I don't go for that sort of stuff when I shot her down.
Willow: [on the phone] You wounded her?
Cordelia: [on the phone] She'll get over it. I never should have invited her to stay with me.
Willow: [on the phone] Say what?
Cordelia: [on the phone] Yeah, I know. Awkward much?
Willow: [on the phone] Cordelia! Okay. We're all clear on the fact that Harmony is a vampire, right?

Cordelia: Ohhh! Harmony's a vampire? That's why she- Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed. All this time, I thought she was a great big lesbo...!
[long pause while Willow says something]
Cordelia: Oh, yeah? Really? Well that's... great. Good for you!

Gunn: Now we're saving a vampire from vampires? I got two words for that: Nuh and uh!
(från “Disharmony”, S02E17)

Favoritcitat: Angel S02E09 - S02E16

Wesley: [about Wolfram & Hart] It's true. They can't really be trusted.
Darla: I don't trust them. But I know a thing or two about mind games.
[to Angel]
Darla: So do you. We've played them together for over a century.
Cordelia: Yes, but you were just soulless, blood-sucking demons. They're lawyers.
Angel: [to Darla] She's right. We were amateurs.

Angel: Well, he said I had to take the plunge.
Darla: Into an empty pool?
Angel: Sure. 'Cause if you had water, you get all wet and miss out on all that skull-crushing.

Angel: [about to jump into an empty pool] I'm either coming back with a cure, or you're gonna see something kinda funny.

[To Darla]
Angel: I'm not gonna leave you. Every moment you have left, I'm gonna be by your side. You never have to be alone again.
(från “The Trial”, S02E09)

Wesley: Someone made Darla drink?
Angel: It was "her".
Cordelia: Okay, way too many pronouns here. Who's "her"?
Angel: Drusilla.
Cordelia: Drusilla's here?
Wesley: Good lord.
Gunn: Who's Drusilla?
Wesley: Angel? Angel?
Gunn: Am I right in guessing this Drusilla's got a set of teeth?

Wesley: And you just walked away?
Angel: No, I walked to my car and then I drove away.
(från “Reunion”, S02E10)

Cordelia: Darla. It's all about Darla. One thing you can say about Angel, at least he's consistent. It's always some little blonde driving him over the edge.

Drusilla: [talking about Lindsey] He's got cow eyes, - big and black. Moo...

Wesley: Well, how is a man supposed to run a business if his employees won't follow directives?
Gunn: Was one of his directives, "Hire a pansy-ass British guy?".
Wesley: My ass is not pansy
(från “Redefinition”, S02E11)

Lilah: So, what if this guy's actually as good as he says and actually kills Angel?
Lindsey: Boo-hoo. Let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand!

Anne Steele: Hey, guy I ran over.
Angel: Hey, girl who ran over me.

Angel: What did Lindsey say about me?
Anne Steele: That you were a bad man.
Angel: Bad man?
Anne Steele: A psychotic vampire who cut of his hand, harassed his firm and is borderline schizophrenic. - I was giving you the short version.
(från “Blood Money”, S02E12)

[About Lorne]
Angel: Oh, you know, he's a demon. You better do what he says, or he might... talk your ears off.

Angel: Two hundred highly intelligent law school graduates workin' full-time drivin' me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But, no. It's, "Angel, why are you so cranky? Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid."
(från “Happy Anniversary”, S02E13)

Wesley: You couldn't stop him?
Cordelia: Hello! Gunn, stubborn, synonyms.

Cordelia: Hey, Gunn graduated with a major in Dumb Planning from Angel University. He sat at the feet of the master, and learned well, how to plan dumbly.
(från “The Thin Dead Line”, S02E14)

[After having sex with Angel and discovering that he hasn’t lost his soul]
Darla: I don't understand. Was I...? Was it... not good? Well, I don't accept that. You cannot tell me that wasn't perfect. Not only have I been around for four hundred years, but I used to do this professionally and that was perfect!

Lorne: I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say, if all you're gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil. Then, at least, leather pants.

Angel: [about Cordelia] Guys, guys, d-does it make sense that sh-she would go there in the middle of the night, without calling either one of you?
Gunn, Wesley: They owe us money.
Angel: Oh, let's go.
(från “Epiphany”, S02E16)

Favoritcitat: Angel S02E01 - S02E0

Angel: There are three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.

Cordelia: [knock at the door] Who is it?
Gunn: Gunn.
Wesley: What was that?
Cordelia: Something about a gun. What if it's a demon with a gun?

Angel: The food getting any better?
Faith: You know, it's not that different from what I grew up on. It's a little one-note, eating the same thing every day.
Angel: I wonder what that's like.

Faith: Bad day. One the girls in the yard tried to build a rep by throwing down with me. She had low self-esteem, and a homemade knife, so...
Angel: Oh. Is she... you know... alive?
(från “Judgement”, S02E01)

Cordelia: It's kinda like a puzzle. The 'who died horribly 'cause Angel screwed up 50 years ago' game?

Wes: I've been accused of a great many things in my time, but paranoid has never been one of them...unless people have been saying it behind my back.
(från “Are You Know or Have You Ever Been?”, S02E02)

Cordelia: I can't get this bandage to... Stop moving!
Angel: I'm not.
Cordelia: Well, then stop breathing
Angel: I don't breathe.
Cordelia: Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever.

Angel: Do you know how hard it is to think straight with a re-bar through your torso?
Cordelia: Actually, I do. Benefits of a Sunnydale education.

Cordelia: There's something. She's got a vibe, I'm getting a vibe. She's vibey.

Angel: The time I've lived, I've seen some horrors, scary behavior, and a couple of fashion trends I constantly pray to forget.
(från “Untouched”, S02E04)

Angel: It was Darla. She's back. And she's human now. But, you know, I know her scent.
Wesley: Angel, you can't just, sniff a person and know...
Angel: [sniffing Wesley] You had sex last night with a bleached blonde.
Wesley: Good lord! How'd you...
Cordelia: That's unbelievable! I didn't think you ever had sex.

[to Angel]
Cordelia: Oh, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days. It's like living with the world's oldest teenager.
[to Wesley]
Cordelia: He can't be having a growth spurt at two hundred and forty eight, could he?

Angelus: Convents. They're just a big cookie jar.
(från “Dear Boy”, S02E05)

Gunn: Wait, are you saying... Is he gonna sing? Oh, God, is Angel gonna sing?

Cordelia: Right. This is Angel. "Oh, no, I can't do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of snapping on Friday".

Cordelia: Angel! Gunn! What happened?
Angel: He got hit.
Cordelia: By who? The swami? Swamis don't hit, swamis "swam".
(från “Guise Will Be Guise, S02E06)

Angel: Come on, guys. We're a detective agency. We investigate things. That's what we're good at.
Cordelia: That's what we suck at. Let's face it, unless there's a website called "www.oh-by-the-way-we-have-Darla-stashed-here.com", we're pretty much out of luck.

Angel: Well, if you're lonely, Dru, why don't you make yourself a playmate?
Drusilla: I could! I could pick the wisest and bravest knight in all the land and make him mine forever with a kiss.
Spike: [walking past] Bloody... watch where you're going!
Darla: Or you could just take the first drooling idiot that comes along.

Angel: We need to narrow it down further. Keep looking.
Cordelia: And my sister's living in Unit Three Nineteen.
Angel: You don't have a sister.
Cordelia: Sure I do. My older, way older, like, four hundred-years-older, blonde sister, Darla. No last name. I've been desperately trying to find her because Mom and Dad are in the coma. Sue, the property manager, was very helpful.
(från “Darla”, S02E07)

Favoritcitat: Angel S01E18 - S01E22

[to Wesley about Angel]
Cordelia: You can always tell when he's happy. His scowl is slightly less scowly.

[About Faith]
Wesley: If there's even a chance she could be reasoned with...
Angel: There was. Last year, I had a shot at saving her. I was pulling her back from the brink when some British guy kidnapped her and made damn sure that she'd never trust another living soul.
Cordelia: Angel, it's not Wesley's fault that some British guy ruined your- Oh, wait.
(från "Five by Five", S01E18)

Kendrick: This girl supposedly has some kinda supernatural powers.
Kate Lockley: Really?
Kendrick: Come on, Kate. Everybody knows you've gone all Scully. Any time one of these weird cases crosses anyone's desk, you're always there. What's goin' on with you?
Kate Lockley: Scully is the skeptic.
Kendrick: Huh?
Kate Lockley: Mulder's the believer. Scully's the skeptic.
Kendrick: Scully's the chick, right?
Kate Lockley: Yes. But she's not the one that wants to believe.
Kendrick: And you wanna believe?
Kate Lockley: Oh, I already believe. That's the problem.

Faith: I gotta be the first slayer in history to be sponsored by a vampire.

Lee Mercer: This is getting ridiculous. The first assassin kills the second assassin sent to kill the first assassin, who didn't assassinate anyone until we hired the second assassin to assassinate her.

Faith: Are you saying I got to apologize?
Angel: Think you can?
Faith: I don't know. How do you say, "Gee, really sorry that I tortured you nearly to death"?
Angel: Well, first off I think I'd leave off the "Gee"...

Buffy: She tried to kill you.
Angel: That was just - That was just a cry for help.
Buffy: A cry for help is when you say "help" in a loud voice.

Buffy: You hit me!
Angel: Not to go all schoolyard on you, but you hit me first.
(från "Sanctuary", S01E19)

Gunn: Whoo! Whoo! My God! They told me it was true, but I didn't believe 'em. Damn. Here it is! Evil white folks really do have a Mecca. Now, now, now girls, don't get all riled up.
[screams]
Gunn: Did you just step on my foot? Was that my foot you just stepped on? Are you assaulting me up in this haven of justice? Somebody get me a lawyer, 'cause my civil rights have seriously been violated. Oh, I get it, I get it. Y'all can cater to the demon, cater to the dead man, but what about the black man?
(från "Blind Date", S01E21)

Angel: Cordelia, I'm gonna fix this. Promise. I'm gonna get you back. I need you back.

Wesley: [researching Angel's destiny] Uh, oops. I may have made a tiny mistake. Uh, the word "shanshu" that I said meant you were going to die? Actually, I think it means you're going to live.
Cordelia: Okay, as tiny mistakes go, that's not one!

[About Angel]
Cordelia: Typical. I hook up with the only person in history who ever came to LA to get older.
(från "To Shanshu in L.A", S01E22)

Favoritcitat: Angel S01E07 - S01E17

Cordelia: I was thinking that, uh, maybe I haven't been entirely fair to you. Maybe you don't actually have zero potential.
Doyle: Wow, Cordelia. Thanks.
(från "The Bachelor Party", S01E07)

Cordelia: Batten down the hatches. Here comes Hurricane Buffy.
Doyle: You think? Maybe he's over her.
Cordelia: You have so much to learn, little Irish man.

Buffy: Oh, boy, I was really jonesing for another heartbreaking sewer talk.

Cordelia: [about Buffy and Angel] Let me explain the lore here, okay? They suffer, they fight, that's business as usual. They get groiny with one another, the world as we know it falls apart.
(från "I Will Remember You", S01E08 - ett avsnitt där inget av mina favoritcitat verkar finnas på IMDb eller Wikiquote, och jag är för lat för att skriva av dem från tv:n)

Doyle: When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope you need someone that you can count on. And that's what you'll find here - someone who'll go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope. Come on over to our offices and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world.

Doyle: One of us has been drinkin', and I'm sad to say it isn't me.

Angel: It's all the same thing. Fight the good fight, whichever way you can.
Doyle: Tell you what, you fight, and I'll keep score.
(från "Hero", S01E09)

Cordelia: Wait! Ahh! A vision! I'm having a vision. A demon, a creepy, little - You! It's definitely you. You're in great, great...
Barney: Danger?
Cordelia: Pain!
[knees him between the legs]
(från "Parting Gifts", S01E10)

[to Angel, in the middle of talking about something else]
Cordelia: And wow, you look half dead. Which, for someone who's completely dead, would be kind of neat.

Cordelia: Great news, sports fans. There's been another killing. Okay, well, maybe not so great news for the, you know, dead person...
(från "Somnambulist", S01E11)

Wilson: This is a private club. Featured word: private.
Angel: Hey, you don't talk to me, I'll kick your ass. Featured word: ass.

Wesley: Hello. I was just in the neighborhood, patrolling with my new Bavarian fighting axe when I suddenly thought, "Perhaps Cordelia has had a vision." Perhaps you need my help in the battle against evil.*
(från "Expecting", S01E12)
* Världens sämsta bortförklaring

Angel: I've got two modes with people: bite and avoid.
(från "She", S01E13)

[About Liam]
Bar maid: Oh, his lies sound pretty when the stars are out, but he forgets every promise he's made when the sun comes up again.
Darla: That wouldn't really be a problem for me, actually.
(från "The Prodigal", S01E15)

Cordelia: "Demons, Demons, Demons." Wow. They put a lot of thought into that title.
Wesley: It's a demon database. What would you call it?
Cordelia: I don't know. How 'bout...”Demon Database"?

Cordelia: Why isn't Wolfram & Hart in here?
Wesley: Mm, because they're lawyers, not demons.
Cordelia: Fine line you ask me.
(från "The Ring", S01E16)

Cordelia: Well, judging by the outfit, I guess it's safe to come in. Evil Angel never would have worn those pants.

Angel: I'm not what you think.
Rebecca: You're not? Because... no reflection, dark private office, instantly knowing those letters weren't written in blood... I guess what I would think is "vampire".

Rebecca: This is real. You're real. Do you drink blood?
Angel: Yeah. But not human.
Rebecca: You're not a killer.
Angel: I gave that up.
Rebecca: Well, there's a support group for everything in this town, I guess.
(från "Eternity", S01E17)

Favoritcitat: Angel S01E01 - S01E06

[About Angel's cellar]
Doyle: Well, I like the place. Not much with the view, but it's got a nice Batcave sort of an air to it.

Cordelia: I finally get invited to a nice place … with no mirrors and lots of curtains. Hey, you're a vampire!
Russell: What? No, I'm not.
Cordelia: Are too!
Russell: I don't know what you're talking about.
Cordelia: I'm from Sunnydale. We had our own Hellmouth.

Angel: Why would a woman I've never met even talk to me?
Doyle: Have you looked in the mirror lately? No, I guess you really haven't, no.

Cordelia: So, um, are you still... "Grrr"?
Angel: Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that
(från "City of...", S01E01)

Cordelia: Demons. Is there anything more disgusting?
Doyle: You think so?
Cordelia: Come on. Okay, look at this one. This demon wears a wreath of intestines around its head. I mean, honestly, what kind of statement is this thing trying to make?

Kate: Well, I'll tell you what, I can go wherever I want, oh, and you can go to Hell!
Angel: Been there, done that.

Cordelia: Yeah, like high school. It's easy to date there. I mean, we all had so much in common. Being monster food every other week, for instance.

Cordelia: Well, a couple hundred years ago, the only thing you had to worry about was a hangover. Today, 'cause of your curse thingy, you can't sleep with anyone or else you might feel a moment of true happiness and lose your soul, become evil - again - and kill everyone.
Angel: Thanks, Cordelia. I always appreciate your perspective.
Cordelia: No problem. Hey, the last thing I want is to show up at the office and find that I'm working for a homicidal monster.

Cordelia: That is so high school. "Cordelia wears bras. Ooo, she has girl parts."
(från "Lonely Hearts", S01E02)

Spike: Do you two need to be alone or can we get on with the ouchy part?

Spike: [as Rachel] How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?
Spike: [as Angel] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. And now, I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair. Never the hair.
Spike: [as Rachel] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?
Spike: [as Angel] No, helping those in need's my job, and workin' up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
Spike: [as Rachel] I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
Spike: [as Angel] Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away.

Spike: Speakin' of little Buff, I ran into her recently. Your name didn't come up. Although, she has been awful busy jumpin' the bones of the very first lunkhead who came along. Good-lookin' fella. Used her shamelessly. She is cute when she's hurting.

Angel: Oz.
Oz: Angel.
Angel: Nice surprise.
Oz: Thanks.
Angel: Staying Long?
Oz: Few Days.
[long pause]
Doyle: [to Cordelia] They always like this?
Oz: No, we're usually laconic.

Spike: It's called addiction, Angel. We all have them. I believe yours is named Slutty the Vampire Slayer.

Spike: To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase, "Duh."
(från "In the Dark", S01E03)

[To Doyle]
Cordelia: You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard.

Angel: [when Doyle and Cordy suggest they all go to the bank in broad daylight] You guys go on. I think I'll stay here and not burst into flames.

Cordelia: What is stalking nowadays, like, the third most popular sport among me?

Cordelia: It's just so unfair. I mean, this poor girl, she hooks up with a doctor. That should be a good thing. You should be able to call home and say, "Mom, guess what? I met a doctor." Not, "Guess what? I met a psycho. He's stalking me and, oh, by the way, his hands and feet come off and he's not even in the circus."
(från "I Fall to Pieces", S01E04)

Cordelia: I am not giving up this apartment.
Angel: It's haunted.
Cordelia: It's rent-controlled.

[to the ghost]
Cordelia: I think you're gonna pack your little ghost bags and get the hell out of my house.

Kate Lockley: Well, see, the thing about detectives is they have résumés and business licenses and last names. Pop stars and Popes, those are the one-name guys.
Angel: You got me. I'm a Pope.

Doyle: [answering the phone] Angel investigations. We... hope you're helpless.

Cordelia: I'm not a sniveling, whiny, little cry-Buffy. I'm the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one.
(från "Rm w/a Vu", S01E05)

Doyle: Angel, man. You've gotta snap out of this!
Cordy: Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy. Grrrr. Kate needs you.
Angel: Uh uh, I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.
Cordy: We won't judge you! Will we? ... Give it a try.
Angel: [shakes head] Closeness is too important to me now.
(från "Sense and Sensitivity", S01E06)